Monday, December 15, 2008
Here's one for the ladies
I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant
You can keep my things they're gonna take me home
Peter Gabriel, Kurt Cobain, Richard Cheese
Let's kick
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Your devils and your gods all the living and the dead

Anarcho-primitivism
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Anarcho-primitivism is an anarchist critique of the origins and progress of civilization. According to anarcho-primitivism, the shift from hunter-gatherer to agricultural subsistence gave rise to social stratification, coercion, and alienation. Anarcho-primitivists advocate a return to non-"civilized" ways of life through deindustrialisation, abolition of division of labour or specialization, and abandonment of technology. There are other non-anarchist forms of primitivism, and not all primitivists point to the same phenomenon as the source of modern, civilized problems.
Many traditional anarchists reject the critique of civilization, many even denying that anarcho-primitivism has anything to do with anarchism, although a few, such as Wolfi Landstreicher, endorse the critique but do not consider themselves anarcho-primitivists. Anarcho-primitivists are often distinguished by their focus on the praxis of achieving a feral state of being through "rewilding".
"This is all the way clean"
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Still we enjoy life as well as those who roll in luxeries
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
This, this is our new song
Hittin switches in my black six-four
Thom at 26 seconds
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Go back to those gold sounds
When you're sayin me
Stay put angel
You're no mystery
Deep on the eastside
Tired of the sun coming up
Deep on the westside
Tired of the sun going down
Sorry I forgot to say
It shouldn't happen that way
So sad
Such a story
Inked upon the shattered wing
So sad
Such a story
We shouldn't even begin
You are my favorite bass line I loved you first.
Partial trade for your amp?
Friday, October 31, 2008
Ben Trapaneze? Hannah Routon?
Pedro speaks "righteous"
Sister Zina says "funky"
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Joseph Knecht's Posthumous Writings
Unrest drove him to his feet once more. If there was no rest in this accursed round-dance, if his one most acute desire could not be fulfilled, then he might just as well fill his gourd again and bring it to this old man who had sent him on this errand, although he did not really have any right of command over him. It was a service that had been asked of him. It was an assignment. He might as well obey and carry it out. That was better than sitting here and pondering methods of self destruction. altogether, obeying and serving were better and far easier, seemlier and far more harmless, than commanding and taking responsibility. That much he knew. Very well, Dasa, take the gourd, fill it carefully with water, and bring it to your master!when he reached the hut, the master received him with a strange look, a slightly questioning, half-compassionate, half amused look of complicity - such a look as an older boy might have for a younger one whom he sees returning from a strenuous and somewhat shameful adventure, a test of courage that has been assigned to him. This herdsman prince, this poor fellow who had stumbled in here, was only coming back from the spring, where he had been for water, and had been gone no more than fifteen minutes. But still he was also coming from a dungeon, had lost a wife, a son, and a principality, had completed a human life and had caught a glimps of the revolving wheel. The chances were that this young man had already been wakened once or several times before, and had breathed a mouthful of reality, for otherwise he would not have come here and stayed so long. But now he seemed to have been properly awakened and become ripe for setting out on the long journey. It would take a good many years just to teach this young man the proper posture and breathing.
By this look alone, this look which contained a trace of benevolent sympathy and the hint of a relationship that had come into being between them, the relationship between master and disciple - by this look alone the yogi accepted the disciple. This one look banished the fruitless thoughts from the disciples head. It bound him in discipline and service. There is no more to be told about Dasa's life, for all the rest took place in a realm beyond pictures and stories. He never again left the forest.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Daphne Descends
Quietly he laughs and shaking his headCreeps closer now
Closer to the foot of the bed
And softer than shadow and quicker than flies
His arms are all around me and his tongue in my eyes
"Be still be calm be quiet now my precious boy
Don't struggle like that or I will only love you more"
For it's much too late to get away or turn on the light
The spiderman is having you for dinner tonight
Sunday, October 5, 2008
The orchestration and the dream is clear

by Garret on Jul 22nd, 2005 at 10:16 PM:
The MDR-7506's are the best sounding headphones in the world. Don't waste extra money on a pair of studio headphones that offer extra features and other nonsense. I work in an electronics store and I can't believe some studio headphones go for $300+ and dont sound as defined, crisp, deep, and bright as these do. The signal output of these headphones is a COMPLETELY Flat frequency response. People who are used to their "studio" headphones that offer head pounding bass will be thoroughly surprised to hear what true bass sounds like. Programs like iTunes and such don't even have EQ settings for frequencies low enough for the range of these babys. Muddy, head pounding bass is unneccessary, and after listening to your favorite songs on these, you will hear what they TRULY are meant to sound like, because odds are, the track may have been mixed using the MDR-7506's, as these are industry standard for music production. Must be heard to be believed. Highest Recommendation.
Monday, September 29, 2008
What moon songs do you sing your babies?
Monday, September 22, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The Backyard Ecosystem
All of the microwaves are dead
Just like the salamander said
The refrigerators house the frogs
The conduit is the hollow log




Stream banks are lined with vacuum bags
Flowers reside with filthy rags
A family of deer were happy that
The clearing looked like a laundry mat
Thursday, August 21, 2008
When we die, some sink and some lay
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Spinning on that dizzy edge

While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along;
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Causin' confusion, disturbin' tha peace, its not an illusion, we runnin' tha streets

Friday, August 1, 2008
My sweetest downfall
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Game Theory
Monday, July 21, 2008
The Rainmaker

"I was your Rainmaker," He said. I did my work as well as I could for many years. Now the demons are against me, nothing I do succeeds. Therefore I have offered myself for a sacrifice. That will placate the demons. My son Turu will be your new Rainmaker. Now kill me, and when I am dead do exactly as my son says. Farewell! And now who will be my executioner? I recommend the drummer Maro; he is surely the right man for the task."
He fell silent. No one stirred. Turu, flushed deeply under the heavy fur headdress, gave a rotmented look around the circle. HIs father's mouth twisted mockingly. At last the tribal mother stamped her foot furiously, beckoned to Maro and shouted at him: "Go ahead! Take the axe and do it."
Maro, axe clutched in his hands, posted himself before his former teacher. He hated him more than ever; the lines of scorn around those silent old lips irked him bitterly. He raised the axe and swung it over his head. Taking aim, he held it along, staring into the victim's fae, waiting for him to close his eyes. But Knecht did not; he kept his eyes wide open, fixed steadily on the man with the axe. ther were almost expressionless, but what expression there was hovered between pity and scorn.
In fury, Maro flung the axe away. "I won't do it," he murmered, and pressing throught the circle of dignitaries he lost himself in the crowd. Several villagers laughed softly. The tribal mother had turned pale with rage, as much at Maro's uselessness and cowardice as at the arrogance of the Rainmaker. she beckoned to one of the oldest men, a quiet, dignified person who stood leaning on his axe and seemed to be ashamed of this whole unseemly scene. He stepped forward and gave the victim a brief, friendly nod. The had known eah other sine boyhood. And now the victim willingly closed his eyes; Knecht closed them tightly, and bowed his head a little. The old man struck with the axe. Knecht fell. Turu, the new Rainmaker, could not say a word. He gave the neessary orders with gestures alone. Soon the pyre was heaped up and the body laid on it. the solemn ritual of making fire with two consecrated sticks was Turu's first official act.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Life is Elsewhere

Thinking of Cronshaw, Philip remembered the Persian rug which he had given him, telling him that it offered an answer to his question upon the meaning of life; and suddenly the answer occurred to him: he chuckled: now that he had it, it was like one of the puzzles which you worry over till you are shown the solution and then cannot imagine how it could ever have escaped you. The answer was obvious. Life had no meaning. On the earth, satellite of a star speeding through space, living things had arisen under the influence of conditions which were part of the planet's history; and as there had been a beginning of life upon it, so, under the influence of other conditions, there would be an end: man, no more significant than other forms of life, had not come as the climax of creation but as a physical reaction to the environment. Philip remembered the story of the Eastern King, who, desiring to know the history of man, was brought by a sage five hundred volumes; busy with affairs of state, he bade him go and condense it; in twenty years the sage returned and his history now was in no more than fifty volumes, but the King, too old then to read so many ponderous tomes, bade him go and shorten it once more; twenty years passed again and the sage, old and gray, brought a single book in which was the knowledge the king had sought; but the King lay on his death-bed, and he had no time to read even that; and then the sage gave him the history of man in a single line; it was this: he was born, he suffered and he died. There was no meaning in life, and man by living served no end. It was immaterial whether he was born or not born, whether he lived or ceased to life. Life was insignificant and death without consequence. Philip exulted, as he had exulted in his boyhood when the weight of a belief in God was lifted from his shoulders: it seemed to him that he last burden of responsibility was taken from him; and for the first time he was utterly free. His insignificance was turned to power, and he felt himself suddenly equal with the cruel fate that seemed to persecute him; for, if life was meaningless, the world was robbed of its cruelty. what he did or left undone did not matter. Failure was unimportant and success amounted to nothing. He was the most inconsiderable creature in that swarming mass of mankind which for a brief space occupied the surface of the earth; and he as almighty because he had wrenched from chaos the secret of its nothingness. Thoughts came tumbling over one another in Philip's eager fancy, and he took long breaths of joyous satisfaction. He felt inclined to leap and sing. He had not been so happy for months.
'Oh life,' he cried in his heart, 'oh life where is thy sting?'
Saturday, June 28, 2008
6/26/08
A man walks down the street
Its a street in a strange world
maybe its the third world
maybe its his first time around
Doesn't speak the language
holds no currency
he is a foreign man
he is surrounded by the sound
cattle in the marketplace
scatterings and orphanages
he looks around, around
he sees angels in the architecture
spinning in infinity he says "amen, hallelujah!"
Picked up back down the ally with some roly poly little bat faced girl. Is she a prostitue? Eastern bloc sex worker. Dale you are a spacecase. Arabs are bloodthirsty. You hate firemen. Will from Brazil. Happy birthday Rob, keep kicking with Ainoz.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
The only woman I've met whom I could have married was poor Sophie
"'I have no descriptive talent, I don't know the words to paint a picture; I can't tell you, so as to make you see it, how grand the sight was that was displayed before me as the day broke in its splendor. Those mountains with their deep jungle, the mist still entangled in the treetops, and the bottomless lake far below me. The sun caught the lake through a cleft in the heights and it shone like burnished steel. I was ravished with the beauty of the world. I'd never known such exaltation and such a transcendent joy. I had a strange sensation, a tingling that arose in my feet and traveled up to my head, and I felt as though I were suddenly released from my body and as pure spirit partook of a loveliness I had never conceived. I had a sense that a knowledge more than human possessed me, so that everything that had been confused was clear and everything that had perplexed me was explained. I was so happy that it was pain and I struggled to release myself from it, for I flt that if it lasted a moment longer I should die; and yet it was such a rapture that I was ready to die than forgo it. How can I tell you what I felt? No words can tell the ecstasy of my bliss. When I came to myself I was exhausted and trembling. I fell asleep'"
"'You're not a bad woman in your way and you have every grace and every charm. I don't enjoy your beauty any less because I know how much it owes to the happy combination of perfect tasted and ruthless determination. You only lack one thing to make you completely enchanting.'
She smiled and waited.
'Tenderness'"
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Hold me for goodbyes and whispered lullabyes
Friday, May 23, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Words Misunderstood
People in Italy or France have it easy. when their parents force them to go to church, they get back at them by joining the Party (Communist, Maoist, Trotskyist, etc.). Sabina, however, was first sent to church by her father, then forced by him to attend meetings of the Communist Youth League. He was afraid of what would happen if she stayed away.
When she marched in the obligatory May Day parades, she could never keep in step, and the girl behind her would shout at her and purposely tread on her heels. when the time came to sing, she never knew the words of the songs and would merely open and close her mouth. But the other girls would notice and report her. From her youth on, she hated parades.
Franz had studied in Paris, and because he was extraordinarily gifted his scholarly career was assured from the time he was twenty. At twenty, he knew he would live out his life within the confines of his university office, one or two libraries, and two or three lecture halls. The idea of such a life mad him feel suffocated. He yearned to step out of his life the way one steps out of house into the street.
And so as long as he lived in Paris, he took part in every possible demonstration. How nice it was to celebrate something, demand something, protest against something; to be out in the open, to be with others. The parades filing down the Boulevard Saint-Germain or from the Place de la Republique to the Bastille fascinated him. He saw the marching, shouting crowd as the image of Europe and its history. Europe was he Grand March. The march from revolution to revolution, from struggle to struggle, ever onward.
I might put it another way: Franz felt his book life to be unreal. He yearned for real life, for the touch of people walking side by side with him, or their shouts. It never occurred to him that what he considered unreal (the work he did in the solitude of his office or library) was in fact his real life, whereas the parades he imagined to be reality were nothing but theater, dance, carnival--in other words, a dream.
During her studies, Sabina lived in a dormitory. On May Day all the students had to report early in the morning for the parade. Student officials would comb the building to ensure that no one was missing. Sabina hid in the lavatory. Not until long after the building was empty would she go back to her room. It was quieter than anywhere she could remember. The only sound was the parade music echoing in the distance. It was as though she had found refuge inside a shell and the only sound she could hear was the sea of an inimical world.
A year or two after emigrating, she happened to be in Paris on the anniversary of the Russian invasion of her country. A protest march had been scheduled, and she felt driven to take part. Fists raised high, the young Frenchmen shouted out slogans condemning Soviet imperialism. She like the slogans, but to her surprise she found herself unable to shout along them. She lasted no more than a few minutes in the parade.
When she told her French friends about it, they were amazed, "You mean you don't want to fight the occupation of your country?" She would have liked to tell them that behind Communism, Fascism, behind all occupations and invasions lurks a more basic, pervasive evil and that the image of that evil was a parade of people marching by with raised fists and shouting identical syllables in unison. But she knew she would never be able to make them understand. Embarrassed, she changed the subject.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Stop hassling me
Test at 10
Call Marci Freddie
call Kristina Powell
Plane tickets
study econ
study econ
math homework
study econ
roma at 6
Xi-X bar
Schwab
Eweb
Natural gas
rent
Socks/Underwear done
new belt $18.75
math homework
Tim you're blocking me in
Beard your car has no clutch
Safeway $14.75
Chris Chill $45
plane tickets
doctor on thursday
drop form off study abroad office
find house
figure shit out
write cheks
get this shit done
"redo the high vocal track.
the levels are good"
are you that far gone?
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Showboat angel you're crazy
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Fancy Dress Ball
A moment before my patent leather shoes had galled me, the heavily scented air disgusted me, and the heat undone me. Now on my winged feet I nimbly one-stepped through every room on the way to hell. The very air had a charm. the warmth embedded me and wafted me on, and so no less did the riotous music, the intoxication of colors, the perfume of women's shoulders, the clamor of the hundred tounges, the laughter, the rhythm of the dance, and the glances of all the kindled eyes. A Spanish dancing girll flung herself into my arms: "Dance with me!" "Can't," said I. "I'm bound for hell. But I'll gladly take a kiss with me."
Sunday, April 20, 2008
The Latenight System
Tonight I was walking home from work when I found myself in the midst of a particularly chill aesthetic. I had just worked a long and hectic shift, after which I was exhausted. While walking home, looked around and thought about, thought about myself, thought about a girl (more than I have in a while), and thought about how much I love everything about Oregon and the UO. It was raining the perfect amount, just enough to make noise on my hood. The rain combined nicely with the way campus is lit at night. There were ducks in the puddle that I alway have to get by on the path. I have always loved ducks. Feeding them with my grandpa when I was young. Seeing them in my backyard. Being talked about on ESPN as the Oregon ducks, with the flashiest uniforms in the country.
I felt the exact same way yesterday while I was driving home from the beach. The weather was typical Oregon spring, sun for a minute then hail for 20. Rural Oregon has such a good aesthetic. The way the railroad runs right along the road, the way the road runs right along the river, the way old lumber towns are shitty and poor and abandoned, it just all fits perfectly in my mind and seems so real. Other places are cool, but Oregon is impeccable.
I haven't been reading anything lately other than nonfiction (and not even very much of that). I feel like I'm not as good at expressing myself as I used to be. I just read Kevin's blog for the first time in a while and was genuinely impressed, both by his writing and by his story.
I need to start trying to write again, I forgot what it feels like. Less is more.
Black and white and sepia. I swear thats in a death cab song but I've spent the past half hour on google trying to figure out which one. Its not easy being green.
Bustin christ airs until we get to heaven
Christian Hosoi
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Christian Rosha Hosoi (born October 5, 1967) is an American professional skateboarder. He was also known by the nicknames "Christ" and "Holmes". Hosoi, along with Tony Hawk, were the most popular skateboarders for the better part of the 1980's.
Biography
Early skateboard career
Hosoi started skating at six years old with veterans such as Shogo Kubo, Tony Alva, Stacy Peralta, and Jay Adams as models. For a time in the late '70's he attended Play Mountain Place alternative school in Culver City, CA. His father, Ivan "Pops" Hosoi became the manager of the Marina Del Ray Skatepark, and Christian quit school and spent his time at the skatepark where he quickly developed his skateboarding talent. In 1979 Hosoi was sponsored by Powell Peralta. He left a year later when Powell Peralta would not turn him pro, and he joined Dogtown Skateboards which went out of business shortly thereafter. He turned pro at the age of 14 with Sims Skateboards.
Hosoi emerged as one of the top competitors of vert riding alongside such pros as Steve Caballero, Mike McGill, Lester Kasai, and Mark "Gator" Rogowski with an eventual rivalry developing with Tony Hawk with contrasting styles in both skateboarding and lifestyles —Hosoi, known for his flair and graceful style, and Hawk raising the bar with his technical ability and difficult tricks. Hosoi invented the Christ Air and Rocket Air, and was renowned for pulling huge aerials; at one point holding the world record. Vertical skateboarding grew in spectator popularity with prize money to match. This, combined with major endorsements with Converse, Swatch, and Jimmy'Z, as well as receiving a pro model wheel, the OJ II Hosoi Rocket through Santa Cruz Speed Wheels, earned Hosoi more money than he'd ever dreamed of.
In 1984 he formed his own company Hosoi Skates, first through Skull Skates, then through NHS/Santa Cruz, and released his signature and iconic Hammerhead model, with the shape inspired by the namesake shark, which proved so popular it was counterfeited.[1] When street skating began to emerge in the mid-to-late 80s, Hosoi proved a threat as well, winning both the vert and street contests at the Lotte Cup contest in Japan in 1989.[2]
Incarceration
Hosoi's skateboard career began to falter as a recession hit the US in the early 1990s, and skateboarding underwent a revolution with street skating becoming the dominant discipline, overshadowing the superstars of the previous decade and ushering in a new generation of pros, with dwindling coverage of vertical riding in magazines and videos. Hosoi faced bankruptcy after financial difficulties with a series of failed skateboard companies; Tuff Sk8s, Sk8 Kultur, Milk Skate Goods, and Focus, in addition to a growing addiction to drugs. Hosoi had been evading the law, with two minor offenses and a warrant for his arrest for failing to appear in court while on bail since 1995. This further pushed Christian into obscurity, as he avoided competitions and demos, including declining an invitation to the first X Games (then the Extreme Games), which was going to be marketed as a renewed rivalry between Hawk and Hosoi. The X Games would prove to be a turning point for Hawk —it revived the interest in vert skateboarding (and skateboarding in general) and he would go on to achieve some of his greatest skateboarding accomplishments as well as international fame and fortune unlike any other point in his career.
Christian was finally captured in January 2000 at the Honolulu airport. He was apprehended while attempting to transport 1½ pounds of crystal methamphetamine from Los Angeles to Hawaii. He was charged with trafficking with the intent to distribute, a federal crime, and Hosoi's third strike. Hosoi was incarcerated at the San Bernadino Central Detention Center. In 2004, a judge reduced his sentence by more than half and released him later that year. In OPM's music video "Heaven is a Halfpipe", one of the members of the crowd can be seen wearing a T-shirt that reads "Free Christian Hosoi".
Christianity
While in prison, Hosoi married girlfriend Jennifer Lee, became a born again Christian through the urging of his wife and her uncle Christopher Swain, a pastor, as well as earning his high school diploma. He was supported by the skate industry while in prison, receiving a pro model deck though the Red Kross/Emergency division of Black Label Skateboards, as well a tribute deck by Shorty's and Chad Muska featuring an homage to Hosoi's first pro model deck on Sims with the Rising Sun graphic, and guest decks through Mark Gonzales' Krooked Skateboards and Pocket Pistols Skateboards, the latter two releasing decks in the famous Hammerhead shape. In June 2004 Hosoi's sentence was reduced for good behavior and he was released on parole. Hosoi continues to be open about his newfound faith, having become ordained as an associate pastor at The Sanctuary of Huntington Beach, California, and has resumed his skateboarding career.
Post-prison
Hosoi was back on a skateboard within two weeks of his release, having not stepped on one during his five years in prison.[3] He quickly demonstrated his innate skateboard talent, pulling off big airs with the style and grace he was revered for.
In 2006 Christian launched a new skateboard company, Hosoi Skateboards, which has developed a large range of decks, including a re-issue of the classic 80's Hammerhead shape as well as several modernized updates of this classic, the Hammerhead '06 and '07 versions. Most of the new Hosoi decks feature variations of the 'rising sun' graphic that has become his signature. The company has several team riders including Richard Mulder, Andre Genovesi, Daniel Cardone, Sergi Ventura and Jay Alabamy and several signature decks from these riders.
He has appeared in Stephen Baldwin's Livin' It LA a Christian-themed skateboard DVD. In 2006 he signed with Vans, receiving a pro model shoe, the Hosoi Sk8-Hi[4] featuring the Rising Sun graphic that adorned his debut pro model deck with Sims. A documentary titled Rising Son: The Legend of Christian Hosoi directed by longtime friend Cesario "Block" Montaňo was released in limited screenings in August, September, and October 2006, with the DVD released in November.
Hosoi is married to Jennifer Lee and has two sons, Rhythm (from a previous relationship) and Classic.[5] Hosoi currently resides in Huntington Beach, California.
Friday, April 18, 2008
It goes dark, it goes darker still
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Fifteen Blows to Your Mind
I'll be there
Open up your skull
I'll be there
Climbing up the walls
It's always best when the light is off
It's always better on the outside
Fifteen blows to the back of your head
Fifteen blows to your mind
Friday, March 7, 2008
Best of Craigslist
I am seeking out a roommate. I've had several the past 3 months that did not work out so well and am hoping to find "the perfect housemate." I think it can be done!
1. I am a plastic surgeon, single straight male, and am wealthy but rather lonely. I could keep this house to myself, and have for about a year, but I've realised that life is much better when it's shared with people who are conscious (as opposed to my clients and my nursing staff!). (This is not to say that my nursing staff is unconscious - obviously they are not! It's just very difficult to become friends with a staff that is somewhat dubious of my methods. I'm no rogue, but I do have Eastern-influenced techniques that some find odd and/or disconcerting - but I do have a 99% success rate! In any case, it doesn't make much sense to mix business and pleasure.)
2. I do have a dog, Basil Ironweed (yes that is his name, people seem to be confused that I have given him a full name like a person and some kind of laugh, but I assure you I take my dog very seriously and treat him with respect, and I ask that you do the same). It would actually be ideal if you have a female dog of pure pedigree (I'd need to see the papers though, for breeding purposes) and I'd prefer her to be a medium-sized dog (I will consider most breeds except absolutely no Australian Kelpies and no American Water Spaniels, please! The colouring of the mating dogs' possible kin would be horrendous if this were the case! Also, Basil is a Border Collie in case you were wondering!) If you do not have a dog, that is also fine. All other pets will be considered except: no cats unless they are of the outdoor variety, no arthropods, and all avians must be salmonella-free, clipped toenails, and tagged.
3. My house has only a one-car garage. It used to be a two-car one, but I decided to convert half of it into a micro-personal gym as I am rather health conscious. (I do have a gym membership, but my gym is not 24-hour, and sometimes at night I really need to get on the bowflex to burn off some of my energy since I have a lot of it! Also, after meals it's inconvenient for me to run off to the gym, and that is why I need one at my disposal. The gym membership is because they have a pool there, and swimming is really good for the joints. Just in case you were wondering.) That said, you'll have to use street parking, but I assure you that my neighborhood is quiet and safe, and there is usually a spot right out in front of my house! (The only time the spot is taken is when the lunch truck comes for the construction workers that are on the corner of my street. It only sits there for about 20 minutes between 1 and 2 pm during the week, depending on how chatty the boys are that day.)
Anyways, I have a few rules that need to be followed, but other than that, we should get along fine!
I request that you listen to all music via headphones. I have mild tinnitus and the sounds from most Hi-Fi equipment sans headphones really irriate me. I am open to discussing music, but sadly we cannot directly share it as my ears can't handle rapidly changing frequencies. (If you'd like to share lyrics, I'd be more than delighted to oblige!)
If you are going to cook, please do not use the following spices: curries, paprika, anything Cajun, and dill. The smells of these things turns my stomach. (If you have any scents that you'd like to avoid, by all means let me know and I'll do you the same honour.)
You must brush your teeth at least twice a day. If there is anything I cannot stand it's filthy teeth. (Believe me, I've had a couple roommates who just could not handle this simple routine - your gingiva may not mind, but I certainly DO.)
If you are going to watch tv, please let me know in advance which programs you'd like to watch. I do have TiVo, by the by, and I have certain shows that I simply must watch when they originally air. I cannot be too flexible with this because I cannot stand to wait to see my programs. You have to understand that I simply have to watch them when they originally air or I will get a little batty. Most of my programs are on public broadcasting and do not tend to run during prime-time spots.
I do not appreciate unannounced house-guests. I need to know at least two days in advance that company is coming - I need to know the duration of the stay, and the nature of the visit. But, I am open to any and all visitors, I just need to know the specifics involved.
I have reduced rent drastically because I realise that some of my requests might seem slightly stringent. I will pay the bulk of the rent in exchange for your understanding, your commitment to the house, and your humouring of my quirks.
You must be ok with my upholstery hobby. On every third Tuesday of the month I request that you vacate the house between the hours of 4 pm - 11:45pm while I upholster various pieces of antique furniture. I am a perfectionist and require complete silence in the house. I've tried this with housemates who've promised to stay in their rooms, but this proved impossible as bathroom habits demand a regular schedule that interrupts my artisan work. That said, I will give you a small stipend on these days if it will assist you in finding something to do with that block of time.
No newspapers or magazines. The ink gets everywhere and the gloss irritates my eyes. Sorry! You are free to read them on the front porch, but they must be stored outside of the house (perhaps in your car?)
This is not to sound discriminating, but, if you speak either French, Urdu, or Afrikaans, I kindly request that you not speak them in my vicinity as the cadences used in these languages are grating to the ears and nerves, for me.
I have fresh produce delivered from an undisclosed location to my home every Wednesday afternoon. Please do not purchase fruits or vegetables and bring them home. You can request any that you desire and I will add them to my order queue. (I am fastidious about potential-GM produce and pesticide usage - I will not tolerate either!) Also, if you insist on preparing red meat dishes in the home, do cook the meat thoroughly. IT MUST SIZZLE.
No cellphone tones in my home! Please use silent mode only!
You are not to use paints in the home. The noxious odours will aggravate my allergies!
That's the summary of my requests! I do actually have a handbook which I will provide for your perusal during our interview (yes, there will be an interview for final-stage candidates) that outlines all of my more particular requests.
If you are interested, please email me the following information:
1. Name
2. Occupation
3. Age
4. Allergies
5. Favourite author
Cheers!















